Whiskey Lullaby
by mikamikaluv
Summary: I don't realize the tears running down my face, or the way my hand claws at my chest, as if trying to rip my aching heart out.  "Why..after so long..why now..?" I ask out loud, choking back my sobs. AU GrimmIchi
1. Chapter 1

**Before reading this, I suggest listening to 'Whiskey Lullaby' if you haven't already heard it. I took my inspiration for this story from that song.**

**{Rest of ****Author's note at the bottom}**

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><p><em>The world can be cruel at times. Dark, selfish, and cruel. And if it finds even the slightest ray of sunshine, it <em>destroys _it._

_~Tangled~_

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><p><strong>Grimmjow's POV<strong>

Sometimes, I swear the world is plotting against me. As if it can tell when I'm extremely happy and ok with my life, and decides that I don't deserve it. Which maybe I don't.

Maybe this sadness is a punishment. Punishment for all the bad things I've done in my life.

Or maybe, I was just to stupid to notice the signs. The fact that I didn't realize they were unhappy, makes me sick to my stomach. Shouldn't I have seen it, or does that mean I actually didn't care? That this relationship was just a lie? A way to forget the pain of my childhood?

'_No, our relationship..._that _wasn't the lie_,' I tell myself as I stumble down the street away from our...my_ old_ home.

As I'm walking, I pay no attention to my surroundings, just blindly shuffling along. I know I should probably find shelter, seeing as its mid-November, and the sky looks as if at any moment it would open up in a mixture of rain and sleet.

I was half tempted to storm back to the house, and drop to my knees to beg for his forgiveness, but some part of me knew that he had made his mind up. Ichigo was stubborn like that, when it came to protecting someone he loved.

When the first drops of rain fell on my head, I finally stopped walking, taking a moment to look at my surroundings. My feet had brought me to the top of a hill, underneath an old willow tree. _Our_ willow tree. The one we used to waste our time under in high school, talking about useless things. It seemed like a regular thing, we'd come here after school everyday and just talk for hours. We were the best of friends, and I think that's what helped our relationship start.

I didn't even notice when the rain stopped, or when the clouds seem to part above me, revealing a starry night in it's place. I finally sat down underneath the old tree, scratching a random pattern in the dirt.

'_Why...why do I feel so...broken?_' I ask myself, unused to this pain in my chest. It hurts, and all I want it to do is go away. Clawing at my chest, I finally climb back to my feet, heading back down the way I came. I don't even realize the tears running down my face, or the way my hand claws at my chest, as if trying to rip my heart out.  
>"Ichigo...why...after so long...why now..?" I ask out loud, choking back my sobs.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: This is mostly just a 'Prologue' I guess.. **

**This story will be very angst-y, and sad. Also, sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but I wanted to get it out before the New Year (it's only 11:30 here :3) because I've had this in my head for a looong time. I was planning on making it only a one-shot, but then decided on making it multi-chapter. **

**So, if you would review please? :3 and **

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi again! :) Thanks for the reviews, and thanks to the people who alerted and favorited! They are greatly appreciated :D **

**This is the official first chapter of Whiskey Lullaby, and there is a bit of a time skip. Guess what... you get to hear from Ichigo! :3 So, without further ado, ENJOY! **

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><p><strong><em>Ichigo's POV:<em>**

_"What is your PROBLEM, Ichigo?" Grimmjow shouted, throwing his hands in the air._

_"Your damn job! That's the problem! I get that you _have_ to do it, but when it puts our daughter in dang-" _

_"That wasn't meant to happen," Grimmjow growled out, throwing a glare at me. "They weren't meant to know about her and-" _

_"BUT THEY _**DO**_ KNOW ABOUT HER! AND NOW SHE'S IN EVEN _**MORE**_ DANGER!" I yelled. "And it's all because of that bastard Aizen..."_

_"Look, Ichi..." Grimmjow said softly, moving to wrap his arms around me. "I'll do everything in my power to keep you and Ayumi safe. I swear... anything to make sure neither of you get hurt. And I'll leave him as soon as-"_

_"I know. You'll 'leave him soon'. You've said it before. _Two_ years ago, Grimm, and you're _still_ with him," I sighed, finally making up my mind, even though the decision was hard. "And while you still live here and have a connection with us, we'll all be in danger. So that's why..." I trailed off, no longer looking at Grimmjow, instead looking down at my bare feet._

_"Why...what, Ichi?" Grimmjow asked, sounding afraid of what I was going to say next._

_"...Either you leave, or Ayumi and I do," I said, finally looking up, determined to get my point across before I could break down crying. "I've made plans to stay with Yuzu if you refuse to leave."_

_Grimmjow was stunned. He obviously hadn't expected me to say that... I waited for him to say something, knowing he would need time to process what I had just announced. Finally, there was a loud sigh, and Grimmjow ran his hand through his blue hair, the way he always does when he's frustrated or tired._

_"...If that's the way you feel then Kurosaki, I'll leave. Maybe Nnoi will let me stay with him." __The coldness of his words froze me, making me unable to think. Grimmjow hadn't_ _used my last name like that in a _long_ time. _

_The door slamming shut snapped me out of my trance, making me stumble the few steps forward towards the door. My hand was on the doorknob before I froze. I _chose_ this. I _wanted_ him to leave...right?_

_My legs no longer felt like they could hold my weight anymore, so I slid down to the floor, my tears finally falling from my eyes._

_..._

This dream had been reoccurring, as if some God out there was trying to torture me for breaking up with Grimmjow.

_Broken up._

That phrase left a bad taste in my mouth. It was still hard to believe that it had been two weeks, and a part of me (more like all of me) regretted not running after him. But then I looked at my daughter, and a part of me was all right.

Ayumi. My perfect daughter. Grimmjow and I had adopted her around a year ago. Her name certainly fit her, meaning '_Walking Beauty_'. She had orange hair, almost as bright as mine, which Grimmjow had found _hilarious_, for some strange reason. Her eyes were a deep purple, which sparkled in the sunlight. She also had the meanest glare I have ever seen on a child, and was extremely tough. Tougher than what a first-glance look gave you.

Speaking of Ayumi, it was almost time for her to be getting up. I sat up in bed, hearing the satisfying pops of my back as I stretched. Then, as I got out of bed, my thoughts strayed back to Grimmjow, remembering how warm his body was, and how I missed the warmth at night while I slept.

_No, keep your thoughts _away_ from him Ichigo. Go get Ayumi._

So, shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I slowly stood up, ready to start another day alone.

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><p><strong>AN: I realize this chapter is short, but I have been wanting to get this out for some time, and now that finals are over, hopefully I will have more time to write :3 **

**So, please R&R! Thanks!**

**Oh...Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, would I really be writing on Fanfiction?**


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